But what to do? I've realised that I don't like having colleagues. I like having people to talk to while I'm at work, but I hate having to work with people, having to rely on others who are generally too busy trying to make themselves look good to be bothered getting on and doing some work.
Why are most people we work with utter cocks?
I think I'll take myself off somewhere to be a professional Blogger Photographer. For this, I need to be able to;
a) Write
b) Take interesting photographs
Thinking back to the post about photographic portrait studios taking interesting and novel shots of people, I'd like to start taking photos of people as they go about their daily business. Sort of a consensual paparazzo where the subject pays me to take photos of them while they're at work, or filling up with petrol, or trying to put Nescafe in their shopping trolley without being noticed by their fair trade-evangelising colleague who they've just bumped into in Tesco.
Here are some interesting shots:
Of course, a related theme would be to actually stalk people and take photos of them and them send the proofs through the post with a demand for money. I wouldn't put it past Venture Photography to try that trick.
4OD
It's not called OD for nothing. Channel 4's TV on-demand service - which allows to view any of a number of their programme - requires users to be in the UK. Before you download the player, it checks your PC settings for you to see if you have all the necessary requirements to use the service: YES, you have Windows XP; YES, you have Internet Explorer somewhere on your PC; YES you have Windows Media Player; YES you're in the UK!
Fantastic.
So off you trot and download the player/downloader thing, but when you come to download one of the programmes, it tells you that "you have to be in the UK to use this service". So, despite the pre-download checker confirming that I'm in the UK, the actual programme thinks I'm not.
Eh? Pile of shite.
Who wants their crappy service anyway. Pile of shitbumtitwank.
Four letter word
Excluding the usual expletives, guess which four letter word is dominating my conscience at the moment. Yes, it's:
D - I - E - T
Fucking bollocks. I can't do dieting. I know dieting won't work because, when I was at my skinniest a couple of years ago, I ate half what I do now and did loads of exercise and still didn't lose much weight. So what good is "being good" going to do? I suppose I'm expending a few extra calories hulking my oversized mass around, but it's not the equivalent of a 4km run.
Bollocks.
I don't like healthy eating. Healthy eating usually means zero flavour and lots of artificial additives in things like yoghurts. Sugar is replaced with stuff that gives you brain tumours and anything that brings flavour out in food is absolutely forbidden. Healthy option is not necessarily good for mental well-being.
So exercise it is. Deep joy.
Sniffy is fed up with the world.
13 comments:
People know when they are in a position that requires an act of God to get fired, so they just sit back and wait for the pension.
You just sound overwhelmed...take a couple of sick days - just like I'm sure your colleagues would.
forgive me me tips
fuckin right killlm all..basturds
I keep having can't be arsed days. I might take a whole month off sick. The bastards wouldn't notice any difference anyway.
I think SID is right, I should go in and kill them in a "Tell me why I don't like Mondays - Sniffy finally flips after one Nescafe too many scenario".
Yeah, I don't care for a lot of my colleagues either - bunch of whingeing backstabbers. The WCM has no sympathy - he's a lab tech, so he doesn't have to deal with people at all. Grr.
Diets suck. I'm wholly unqualified to give advice on how to diet. How to eat? The less processed the better. Small portions. Avoid unnecessary fats & sugars. Write down everything you eat. Don't even fucking think you're going to have fun.
I spent three years of my life on a very restrictive diet, was the skinniest I've ever been, but always thinking about avoiding certain foods (bread, potatoes, curries, chips). I was hardly a Kate Moss. I'd rather have a diet where I wasn't starving all the time and a little bit happy. But I need to exercise to go with it I suppose.
Shite. That is the word of today.
So endeth the lesson.
Some people specialise in walking around briskly carrying clipboards and spouting bollocks at meetings.
Naturally they rise effortlessly to the top.
I have just consumed a packet of Morrisons Pork Crunch (spicy seasoned pork rind snacks).
556 kcal.
I'm not dead yet.
I love pork scratchings, but they do smell a bit like my gussets after I've been at the gym.
That damn four letter word, it's preying on my mind lately as well (and not just because of the veggie thing). As for not looking like Kate Moss, why would anyone want to? Frankly, women should have curves (unfortunately some of us have more than enough for two).
I love your pictures, they're fabulous. And the stalking idea certainly has it's appeal, doesn't it?
Only after you've been to the gym? You sure about that?
Smelly cunt.
but they do smell a bit like my gussets after I've been at the gym
How many changes of underwear do you go through at the gym or does the stench permeate through multiple layers?
Mmmmmmmmmm. Smelly gussets.
Dirty bastards.
I can't believe that a post about me wanting to kill my colleagues so as I can pursue a career as a professional stalker has descended into the smell of sweaty gussets.
Post a Comment