Yes folks, threatened with mass protests, Connie has put them back on the menu!
She has seen sense and has decided to provide the family with a fucking delish Christmas Eve meal of lasagne, leaving us to have our proper Christmas dinner on Christmas Day. Thank fuck for that. I was on the verge of calling Social Services to get her put away, thinking she'd finally lost all remnants of sanity.
Finished
Finally finished for Christmas today, it's been such a struggle getting through these past few weeks.
I am now looking forward to a good break in which I will be spending lots of quality time with people I care about instead of wasting lots of my time with total arseholes.
Tonight, I ice my cake! Oh the joys of all that sticky white powder getting everywhere. What fun I shall have, trying to be creative while Mother hovers around me, criticising.
I shall be meeting up with Trump tomorrow morning and we will start the day with a leisurely stroll around the supermarket, amongst people who will be filling trolleys with bread because 5 loaves and 16 packets of barmcakes aren't quite enough to last the WHOLE DAY that the shops are shut on Monday. It's not as if there's nothing open on Boxing Day, stupid selfish cunts.
We will spend the next few days relaxing and getting increasingly excited at the prospect of being together on Christmas morning as we open out presents to each other. I may have to sedate her in the meantime as her request for clues reaches an unbearable climax.
On Sunday, we're here a la casa Cakesniffer for dinner. Mother asked if I'd be returning home after dropping Trump back at hers. "I hadn't planned on coming back until early Christmas morning", I replied pleadingly.
"But who's going to help me get ready for Christmas Day?"
"In all honesty, Mother, all I do on Christmas Eve is eat Twiglets and pretzels while getting under your feet. It's Dad that does all the helping."
"Oh, yeah, that's true. Well, make sure you're back early on Christmas morning!"
Nice one!
I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. I won't think about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight. What else can I do? Baby, all I want for Christmas, is YOU!
Dirty little bugger
I can't believe some of the things people video... and then upload on to You Tube. Check this filthy little beast out.
12 comments:
I had a Christmas lunch at Tesco today.
Two wafer thin slices of turkey and a pile of undercooked sprouts.
£4.89.
Bargain.
Christmas dinner and a masturbating cat.
Poetry
Cat porn? And just in time for Christmas! Thanks so much Sniffy, you're the bestest blogger ever!
Glad to hear the sprouts are back. And just so I'm not confused, Tea=evening meal right? Forgive me, I'm Canadian. We're not always "with it".
Tea = evening meal if you're in the North of England, otherwise it's dinner or supper like the rest of the English-speaking world.
Sprouts are vile if they are under or over cooked. They have to be just right, with a little bit of bite left in them or they're too bitter.
I thought the cat wank complemented the culinary discussion perfectly.
Playing with the kitty barb AND licking it's own chest (nipples?) at the same time. Jammy little bastard.
I tell you what, I reckon it was that Indian music that made him do it - it's kind of hypnotically erotic! Anybody fancy a night down the Royal Bengal?
Hey diddle diddle, the cat had a diddle...
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Thanks, that was jolly good.
Happy Christmas Sniffy and I hope that you have a great New Year.
Acccckk! Sprouts. I suppose it could be worse, could be mushrooms...
Mushrooms are FUCKIN' DELISH! Some people are just too weird for words.
Mushrooms are the devil's toe jam. Ick.
Sounds like you have Christmas pretty well under control over there. Wish I could say the same. Oh well.
Happy Christmas Sniff!! :-)
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