Give Gypsy a stroke for £2

There were two women at the entrance to Tesco just now. Both were wearing bright yellow bibs, one carried a charity collection can, the other held the lead of a black labrador dog. "Please help Guide dogs for the blind", their bibs (and the dog) said it all really.

Having done some shopping (more later), I acquired some change so that I would have an excuse to get closer to the dog. Having made my donation, I felt justified in molesting Gypsy - she was so soft! I really want a labrador so badly, being near them is almost like torture. I said to the charity worker "You should charge people £2 a stroke".

"Well, I do," she replied, "and when they've finished, I let them pat the dog".

But these dogs, guide dogs, not only provide companionship, they also work for their Pedigree Chum and go through rigorous training to get them to the stage where they can provide invaluable assistance. They are amazing, and a lifeline for those who might otherwise be unable to live independently. Knowing this, as everybody does, what would possess somebody to kick a guide dog in the street while it was with its elderly blind owner?

I hate people, really, really hate them. The little shit who did that should be kicked about himself.


Sad
I'm a bit down in the dumps at the moment. I attended another funeral yesterday, this was of Minnie Souch an old lady who lived as our neighbour when we were growing up. We never had grandparents and she was sort of a surrogate, she was utterly lovely and I never heard her say a bit thing about anybody. Some old people get cantankerous and bad tempered, Minnie just smiled through things. Despite losing her sight over the last 15 years of her life, she just tried to adjust and adapt and get on with things, making the most of everything she did have.



Multicultural Britain
People (mushy-brained lefty politicians) say we should celebrate Britain's multiculturalism. Unfortunately, we're not a multicultural nation; we have pockets of high populations of particular ethnicities that never mix with the others.

Today, I am in an almost totally white part of the country and the thing that indicates that we're not a true multicultural nation is the fact that, apart from there only being white faces on show (dirty ones at that), you can't get chapatis in the Tesco here. How rubbish is that?

And THIS report isn't going to do much for calming tensions that exist between India and Pakistan. Apparently, on average, Indian blokes have smaller (shorter) willies than other men. This is REALLY bad when it comes to trying to persuade Indian blokes to wear condoms for preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS and other STIs (and babies of course) because they don't fit properly. Although I'm sure a survey of the partners of Indian men would reveal complete satisfaction in the whatsit department.

Different sized condoms are now being manufactured for the Indian market.

Can you imagine the damage this research can do to an entire nation's pride? Especially when you consider the fierce rivalry between India and Pakistan.


Orange nets
I hate those net bags that oranges and other citrus fruits come in. People tell me they're supposed to just tear open, but every time I try this, I almost get my fingers severed by the industrial strength plastic threads.

And I've just discovered that mandarin oranges are only nice in jelly.