Named and shamed

I love the power of Google.

People use search engines for all sorts of things and, sometimes, their searches bring them unto me. So for the person in Nottingham who was interested in "gay cruising using bluetooth", I'm sorry Cakesniffers couldn't offer any answers to your query, but I hope you enjoyed your visit, you filthy little cunt.

I don't know whether they get their clients' stuff delivered on time, but hauliers R Swain & Sons must have a job on their hands, what with their shit-for-brains workforce. I live opposite one of their transport depots and since it was taken over by Swains, I've had nothing but irritation from their idiot wagon drivers (and other employees).

Here's a question for you. When you leave to go to work in the morning do you:

1. Get your shit together, get in your car and go?
2. Get in your car, realise you've forgotten something, go back in the house to get it, then go?
3. Get in your car, drive off your drive, half way down the street, realise you've forgotten something, so park across somebody's drive, abandon the car, go home, put your feet up for half an hour, then return to your car?

Let's just say that Swain's drivers have the habit of doing the equivalent of option 3, only in a big, fuck-off articulated truck.

Why can't they just get in their wagons and piss off to wherever they're going? Why do they have to leave the depot and park on the road before setting off? And why do they have to do it with their engine running for up to half an hour from 4am?

I think they must be slightly a) thick, b) inconsiderate, or c) a combination of the two.

Not content with parking their wagons on the road near the depot, their employees have also acquired this habit, leaving their cars for up to twelve hours a day where people would normally park to use the local community centre. The consequence? People block my drive.

So, R Swain & Sons, next time you're thinking of recruiting people, perhaps you should ask them a few questions about the best methods for avoiding pissing people off.

Twats.


Sniffy's Catholic funeral experience
I'd never been to a Catholic funeral before Friday's event. What a bloody palaver! Up, down, sit, stand. It was a bit like an hour long hokey cokey with snivelling. You go in, sit down. Realise everybody else is stood, so you stand. The choir is singing a hymn, a nice one. You all sit down. The priest says something, the congregation mutters something back at him, you all stand up again. And that was it for about an hour. And then you shook hands and left for the crem do.

The good turn out was an indicator of the respect that many people had for the star of the show. Plus there was fantastic grub at the "do" afterwards - including "scouse", curry, BBQ chicken wings and chips! And, despite the sad circumstances, it was nice to meet up with my family who I don't get to see that often.