Eeevil

As I stumbled from the bed I'd shared with Trump, heading bleary-eyed into a dark Monday morning, I was taken by surprise: an involuntary fart left my person before I'd taken more than three aching steps. I was instantly hit with a funk so strong, so evil, that it must have come from the bowels of hell itself. Within seconds, the dozing Trump fell victim to the gases that had permeated the atmosphere and expelled the sweet, fresh air.

"You dirty bitch!"

Actually, she might not have said that; unable as she was to move or cry for help in her paralysed state.

But the strange thing is that I've been doing horrendous farts for the past couple of days, yet my number twos have been almost odourless.

Explain that, Lord Winston!

It's getting me down a bit now, but still providing plenty of amusement as I leave a little bit of myself wherever I go.


Time won't give me time
My mobile phone has gone weird. People's text messages are recorded as arriving an hour later than they were. Rubbish! Although I'm sure I could use this to my advantage if I need an alibi for something.


Some more views of the city
I was preserving these photos for somewhere else, but what the hell! I've been having such a nice time wandering around the city with Trump and my camera, it's nice to share it with folk.

The fountain, Albert Square

This is the Town Hall in Albert Square. We've had an inflatable Father Christmas for over twenty years. The original one used to climb the clock tower, but burst every year as it got punctured on spiky brickwork. This is the last year that Manchester will be visited by our inflatable Father Christmas. It's a great shame.

The second photo shows that Father Christmas is holding the Space Shuttle - no idea why. It's also nice to note how easily the 2005 was changed to 2006. I've seen this somewhere before...

Here we have a couple of different views of Manchester's Central Library - the top one shows some of the arc of the wall that borders Library Walk. The Central Library is ace and I used to spend a fair bit of time in there, looking up old newspaper editions on microfiche when I was a sixthformer.

And this is the G-Mex Centre. It used to be Manchester's Central railway station, but it stood unused for years before being turned into a big exhibition centre. The big thing in the background is Beetham Tower. It is HUGE, with the Hilton Hotel occupying lower floors and private apartments on the top third. The tower dominates the skyline and it is in such a position that it occupies a central point for most of the major roads into the town. If you ever come into land in Manchester airport, look out for it - it sticks out a mile.

So that's another photojournal of my days out in my city (well it's not mine, but my city - Salford -is totally shite with only a concrete shopping precinct and run-down bus station to boast at its heart).

Next in the Sniffy does the City: HOT SAUSAGE! Sniffy's adventures on the Christmas markets.