Ring a-ring a-ringroadrage

Ring roads are for losers!

There are two around Manchester: the big motorway one, the M60; and the little inner ring road of chaos that is just a bunch of normal old roads that have been identified by some twat in a planning office who did a join-the-dots and make a circle round the city centre with a red felt tip while looking at an A to Z.

Anyway, both of the bloody things are usually completely chocker and you're better off going right through the town centre, which is relatively clear because every poor bastard has been told to use the ring road.

That's all I have to say about ring roads, apart from they'd be much more fun if they didn't have any junctions on them to slow you down and you could just go round and round and round for a laugh, that'd be good.


It's all in a name
We sign up to so many things online, we're assigned usernames and passwords for this and that in the workplace too:

• Work, home and internet e-mail username and passwords
• Banking login details
• Shopping and auction sites
• Blogger, flickr, webshots, data repositories
  
• News forums

I know that I end up signing up for a couple of new things each year and with all this information to store, it's no wonder I get my usernames and passwords mixed up occasionally. It's for this reason that I used the wrong username when I was trying to log on and relicense my legitimately downloaded music.

Thick shit.

I am now Tunebite-stripping the re-acquired licences from the Gorillaz Demon Days album, which I downloaded in its entirety...listening to it as I go, I'm wondering why the fuck I downloaded it in the first place, it's a right load of crap. I suppose it might be ok if you're a drugged up student, but it won't have the longevity of something by Kylie.

While on the subject if signing in, I can't cope with those password authentication systems that request the xth, yth, or zth letter of your password or secret answer. They even ask for things like "the 5th, 1st, 8th letter of your password". I can't work that sort of shit out, for fuck's sake! Don't they realise that hackers and phishers are a lot cleverer than us mortals and they probably don't need to even know these answers to get into our bank accounts? I'm sure they only do it to make us feel like we're protected by a super safe internet security system.

One of my work e-mail accounts requires me to change my password every 4 weeks. In doing this, you're not allowed to use the same password if it has been used within the previous 6 months. You aren't allowed sequences of double letters or numbers. As a result, I come up with some corking passwords, but I can never remember them the next time I need to log in.


Bugz in the attic
Don't know about Bugz in the attic, but if you have a bug and you need to take a day off work, you don't need some nosy cunt questioning you for the sake of showing mock concern, while really sussing you out, when you get back to work.

3.30pm day back after day off fighting the Grim Reaper:
Star performer ("I'm only your lower-graded colleague, but I like to think that I'm more important than you and, the way I suck up and get the powers-that-be to believe every excuse I give them for being a workshy, useless fucktard, I certainly feel more important than you!"): "Tina, you've been off sick?"
Me: "Yes"
Star performer: "What was it?"
Me: "A bug"
Star performer: "Just a bug?" - What, you're not going into every detail to try to convince me that you were really ill like I do when I've had one of my "sick days"?
Me: "Yes, just a bug"

End of conversation.