Celestial valium

Gawd...

Sniffy has a new PC. It's a laptop and it's so difficult to get used to the keyboard!

Yes, celestial valium. I think this is the name I shall give to those things you sometimes notice and that bring instant calming when, in a state of despair and frustration, you look to the heavens and take a deep breath in an attempt to prevent yourself blowing your top and killing somebody.

Today's celestial valium was the most fantastic rainbow I have ever seen. It arched above the city centre, lighting up the dreary buildings beneath it. I swear that the Arndale Centre was at the end of the Rainbow.

I'd noticed this wonderful vision as I was making my way home from work. The traffic wasn't bad, but I'd become annoyed by the antics of the driver in front of me - just way too slow at setting off from lights. I looked to the heavens and there it was. I marvelled at its perfection - the whole spectrum was there to see, not just your usual diffuse range of colours, but discrete bands of colour from red at the top to blue at the bottom. It was so bright and perfect, and it even had a bonus outer rainbow. A bit like this, only a proper full rainbow over a big city.

Ahhh, my heart leaps up when I see a rainbow in the sky, the calm washed over me. I was ready to set off from the lights again, relaxed and ready to continue my journey home. Unfortunately, the fuckwit in front was still dawdling and they took just that millisecond too long to set off.

Why do people do it? Why do they have to ruin it for everyone when there's a nice rainbow in the sky? Tossers.


A Canadian tradition
I got a birthday present the other day. The delicious April kindly sent me a Cribbage board and a set of Canadian souvenir playing cards.

I'm taking this as a threat. Canadians get very tetchy when beaten at their national game by foreigners - as I found out when I wooped April's arse (figuratively speaking) while playing this game for the first time in the summer.

I'm not sure what happens during the game, but you end up moving little pegs up this wooden board that has lots of holes in it. I couldn't remember how this came about, I thought dice might be involved, then I realised what the cards were for - dur. Essentially, you get shouted at by your opponent and they keep saying lots of numbers then you do adding and put your peg into the board. Then you beat them and they get arsey.

So that's cribbage sorted.

Next week I'll be discussing how to beat the Canadians at seal clubbing and hockey.


Fucked
I think the acquisition of this new fangled machine was most timely! It seems that my poor old desktop has completely died. I'm sure it'll be OK if I can figure out how to reformat the hard drive (the one that works) and reinstall windows, but I'm not sure how to do that.

Answers on a postcard please.

Laptops are OK, but you don't half write like a spaz on the keyboards. Bloody nora, this is difficult. Still, any excuse for writing a load of old shite here will do!