Bears in queer-bashing outrage

The Bears recently found a new friend. Unlike most of their friends, Twinkle, is a touch on the effeminate side and he likes to dress up all girlie-like, never shying away from a bit of mascara. On a recent night out in town however, the boys were set upon in an evil homophobic attack. This queer-bashing was caught on camera by intrepid roving-reporter, Sniffy:

No! Please don't smudge my mascara!

Witnesses looked on in horror as the the evil Trexi - a leading member of the British National Party - tried to bite poor Twinkle's head off. He was only deterred by the brave actions of RCMP Bear Chadwick, who fought him off valiantly while his Italian mate, Francesco, screamed like a girl and ran for it.

Bloody poofs.


Bear two
Talking of poofs, a couple of my favourite queers - Piggy and Tazzy - are shifting their internet efforts to a new venture. Check out those disgusting pervs' new site at www.abitpoofy.com. Bugger only knows what it's going to be like, but it can't be any worse than the shite they churn out at Tazzyandpiggydotcom.

Fuckers.


Bear three
I have recently regressed to seeking literary fulfilment from reading material that goes under the "graphic novels" genre, or "comics" to you and me. My particular favourite is Slave Labor Graphics' Bear, written by Jamie Smart.

Our hero Bear and his friend Karl spend their time trying to avoid being killed by Karl's psychotic cat, Looshkin.

Fucking brilliant, that's what it is. Unfortunately, I can't get hold of issue 2 anywhere, so if anybody has a copy they'd think of parting with, get in touch and we'll see about doing a swap... perhaps for a couple of proper books or something...

I've come to realise that words are too difficult and it's so much easier to follow pictures with just a bit of text, rather than wading through page upon page of descriptive text. I recently read a book called If we do not speak of remarkable things and I hated it - way too much description and it took me a couple of hundred pages and wasted a few weeks of my reading time just to say nothing much at all. It was one of the most irritating books I've ever read: the speech wasn't distinguished from normal text - no quotation marks or anything; the "story" jumped back and forth. Boring, boring drivel.

One book with real words that I did enjoy was Extremely loud and incredibly close, by Jonathan Safran Foer. It's about a young boy who finds a key in his dad's closet shortly after his death in the World Trade Center attacks of 11th September, 2001. He embarks on a journey across New York to find out about the key. It has some weird moments and the end is a bit of an anticlimax, but I reckon it's still worth a read despite this.


Bearly believable
I managed to hold off for nearly two whole weeks before I succumbed to buying a wireless router, but I gave in this weekend. It's great this wireless networking business: I can now surf the internet on my laptop from any location in range of the signal without need for wires and that. But still I find myself sat at my desk, laptop in front of me, ethernet cable within easy reach. How very ironic.

I guess now all we need is some way of transmitting electric power without cables since there are never enough power points in a room and the ones we have are always hidden behind immovable furniture. And yes, I have heard of batteries, but they never stay charged for long.

Why do electricians do that? Why do they always put power points at positions in a room where people are most likely to have really heavy furniture? Why do some DIYers put electric sockets in skirting boards? What's the fucking point of that? Have they not seen how plugs are designed (in the UK)? The cables don't bend at floor level and you can't plug stuff in - especially those huge bloody transformers that come on most power adapters these days.

Fucktards, the lot of them.

So there you go, queer-bashing, literature and DIY in one post. Plus a little bit of culture from LS Lowry too.