Round one: Sniffy wins
I was driving through Manchester city centre on my way home last night. It was getting on for midnight, the weather was clear, the traffic was light, the streets aren't usually filled with pissheads until Thursday night and last night was no exception. It was quiet.
I proceded through the successive sets of lights as they changed from red to green, changing lanes here and there so as not be hindered by cars that had been waiting there while the signals were on red.
As the bright lights faded and one city melted into the next, I noticed a police car had appeared behind me out of nowhere. Its siren sounded once, I looked in my mirror again. It sounded again, I looked again. The lights then started flashing and I realised that they wanted me to pull over. EH? What's to do here then?
Stopping my car, I opened my door and looked behind me: the police woman who had been driving was already out of the car "Get out of the car!".
Fuck, it's one of the guards from Prisoner Cell Block H. How rude!
"Have you been drinking?"
"No, I don't drink."
"Why were you driving like that?"
"Like what? I'm just going home."
"Just going home eh? Let me smell your breath!"
Jesus, if only you knew where my mouth had been half an hour ago.
"Have you got your documents with you?"
"Just my licence."
"Now, will you tell me why you were driving so erratically at such speed? We clocked you at 55mph"
"I'm sorry, but there's absolutely NO WAY I was doing that speed, no way whatsoever. I never speed. I'd like to see some evidence because I know damn well that I wasn't going over 30."
You mean that you flew up the road to get behind me from a fair distance away and that you got up to 55? Why's it OK for you to drive that fast?
"You can either take the points or take it to court."
"I'll take it to court, I wasn't speeding and I wasn't doing anything wrong."
"You were swerving through the traffic and driving erratically."
"There wasn't any traffic. All I was doing changing lanes so I didn't have to stop behind traffic that was setting off from lights when they changed to green, that's what the lanes are for. I wasn't driving erratically, just using the road layout the way it is supposed to be used."
"I would've have thought somebody in your profession would be more careful"
Ahhhh, so you've seen "Dr" on my driving licence, have you?
"I was being careful, I drive along this road every day and I know the layout very well. I wasn't doing anything wrong and I'd like to see some evidence that I was doing 55mph when I know that I wasn't and never would."
"Don't worry, you're not going to get any points, you'll just have to produce your documents at your nearest police station."
You've changed your tune. What happened to being threatened with a court appearance?
"Oh right, fair enough."
"You've got seven days to produce your documents."
I was so fucking annoyed. The fucking Nazis! I got home and read the ticket. She'd put the wrong time and spelt my name wrong, so not only could she not read, but she couldn't tell the time either. DUR!
I just find it so bizarre that she thought that acting so aggressively and in such a threatening manner was going to be useful in a situation where she suspected that she was dealing with a drunk driver. Surely such behaviour is likely to elicit an equally, if not worse response from somebody who has been drinking? And they wonder why they have to wear stab-proof vests.
Why do certain police officers feel the need to act in such a way? It's clearly a power thing, but they need to remember that they're public servants and that they also rely on the trust of the public to enable them to do their jobs.
Tossers.
Now, should I submit a complaint about her? I think she needs to be told, doesn't she? Or perhaps I should mention her badge number and name here for when she Googles herself?
What does everyone reckon? Should the nasty bitch copper get her comeuppance, or should I be grateful that I didn't get seven bullets in my face?
Let's have an open debate about why we all hate the police.
19 comments:
Yay! First!
Submit a complaint. No doubt about that. Just do it. You shouldn't have to even consider that one - she stopped you for no reason, then proceeded to act agressively with you, then lied about the reason for stopping you, then offered you a deal of 'accept the points or go to court' hoping you'd accept the former and she'd get a nice little credit for it.
The fact is, she behaved appalingly in her role as a Police officer and should be reprimanded for it before she does the same thing to someone else who, for fear of the consequences, might just accept penalty point when they have no need.
Also give her badge number and name here and we'll all write bogus letters of complaint too.
The cops over here are getting a bit smart too, as they aren't dodging bullets anymore,and yet in the no go areas where they refuse to go without army back up, everyone drives carefully.
Something to do with mercury tilt switches or something.
I think she has been stalking you and she fancies the arse off you.
I think she's just a cunt.
Off to the police station with my papers now. I think I'll talk to somebody about her while I'm there.
Yes, that too.
'Can we see your papers?' - sounds more like a KGB enquiry.
Does that Oirish cunt still have his own kneecaps, or are they plastic?
I know his tits are real - you can't buy fake ones that size.
Maybe we'll take him a bra as a pressie when we arrive on his shores.
Yay! Only 3 weeks to go!
*wonders if SID's terrified*
Fuck that softly softly approach from Piggy - lets find her and knife her in the neck - it's the british way. Then she'll think twice about pulling you over again; cause she'll be dead.
I've got a green receipt now. The desk woman at the police station wasn't interested - she was like the brain dead, semi-retired turds that I work with.
And herge, it's no wonder they have to wear stab-vests if that's their attitude with people. Arseholes.
You have to have a low IQ to join the police.
That's why they run after innocent Brazilians and plug them seven times with a magnum.
The bastards just did me for speeding again. Sitting on bridges annoying motorists. Bastards.
I'd complain - I'm sorry the desk clerk wasn't interested.
It sounds to me like she changed her tune after she saw the "Dr" on your license. Some people give Doctors/lawyers/high profile career people more of a break. Kind of like the more education you have, the more respect you get.
bronwen
Jumpin'Jesus on a Pogo stick!
What a bizzatch!
Should such a thing ever happen again, comment to the nice officer "How unfortunate it is that the police force have drastically lowered their recruiting standards."....then sigh and smile innocently.
Jumpin'Jesus on a Pogo stick!
What a bizzatch!
Should such a thing ever happen again, comment to the nice officer "How unfortunate it is that the police force have drastically lowered their recruiting standards."....then sigh and smile innocently.
I like Herge approach. Once you've stabbed her do a runner and see how long you can hide out and blog about it. Brilliant. Then we can post your mugshot on our blogs.
Definitely complain. From that conversation she was just looking to up her convictions. It's typical of this day and age that the police will try and target motorists for any reason and attempt to use the old "points or court" routine.
I guess from your responses that you have looked at this post and visited the Safe Speed forums as your initial response to show the evidence of the alleged offence is the first thing anybody should ask when stopped.
Actually Convict, I hadn't read that information, but I knew that if I went to court, they'd have absolutely nothing on me except their word against mine, so I kept insisting. And I explained my driving behaviour in a rational manner - they had no argument. They also knew that I'd wipe the floor with them and show them to be lying cunts - expecially if I got access to CCTV footage that covers that entire stretch of road.
They're used to dealing with people who roll over and are scared of their threats, it's a shame that you need some poxy title for them to take any notice of you. Thick bastards.
I'm just glad she didn't want to look in the boot of my car - she'd have found a kidnap victim, a collection of sex toys and a rounders bat.
Fighting crime, protecting people eh? And here's me thinking they just victimised motorists and beat up black and asian people. Wankers.
Sign her up for some kiddie porn to be delivered to the station.
Thank you for offering to let me use some html tags... If I had the faintest idea how to, I promise I would.
Police though....
One night, in pouring rain, I rounded the roundabout and chugged off around the ringroad at 40 miles per hour. In a few monents the police car I'd noticed lurking at the roundabout pops up behind and gives me a whirl of the blue lights...
"Get out of the car..... sir"
So I am taken, in the pouring rain, to sit in the back of their car. "Have you been drinking..... sir?" "yes" "Blow in the breathalyser." And the breathalyser doesnt go red. "This doesn't show any alcohol." "That's not surprising" "How much did you drink" "I don't think that's relevant. Why did you stop me?" "because you were going so slowly." " I was going at an appropriate speed to go around a roundabout, in pouring rain, at one in the morning with a copcar lurking in the busbay where it shouldn't have been parked"
"The road speed limit is sixty here, you were travelling at less than fourty" "So if I'd squealed round the roundabout and set off up the road at sixty you wouldn't have bothered to stop me? Anyway, as we've established I committed no offence, can I go now?"
Bastards. They were bored, I suppose. If I hadn't been so tired I'd have told them to arrest me or piss off.
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
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