You wear "summer trousers" and you need "summer shoes" to go with them. Summer shoes are usually open-toed sandals. I've been wearing open-toed sandals today. I've not been wearing socks with them. They're really comfortable sandals, made in Italy of soft leather. Really comfortable until the bare skin on your heels starts to rub against the leather.
....To form big blisters....
.... That totally incapacitate you
God, I'm in pain. I tried buying some specialist heel/blister plasters, but they just rubbed off - rubbing against the open wounds as they did so. So I had to buy some new shoes. Backless ones.
Fucking summer. Can't wait to get my trainers back on. With socks.
Deliverance
I have been accused of not pulling my weight by a certain Canadian. I'd like to offer the case for the defence.
With the sounds of Duelling banjos in my ears, I paddled with the rest of them.
Spot the English person
I did try paddling, but my pathetic little arms were still too sore after my attempts at waterskiing. Besides, I was too busy concentrating on clenching my buttocks to prevent involuntary evacuation through my shitter to be able to even think about sticking my oar in that icy water.
Sniffy takes on the natives
This is an interesting shot. It shows me engaging in the early stages of a smackdown challenge with April's youngest delinquent.
And then you saw me dead
There wasn't really any contest and she had me floored within 5 seconds. They have this old aboriginal trick of running head-first at your kneecaps. It really hurts. They use it to capture elk and black bears apparently. There was evidence of such killings in April's freezer.
When I was over there, I got a text message from Connie Cakesniffer asking whether I'd seen any natives. I pointed out that I was living with them. She responded by saying that she thought they'd live in wigwams or burnt-out tree trunks.
Oh for equality and diversity training for the over 60s.
Pyramid power
As Connie mentioned in her blog, we went visiting the Summerhill Winery, somewhere near Kelowna. This place is 100% organic and it is famed for maturing all of its wine in a big concrete pyramid. I'm not sure whether all that pyramid talk is a load of old bollocks, and since I'll never drink any of their stuff I don't really care, but it's a nice gimmick and I'm sure it ensures more sales of the stuff at the end of the free tasting session.
We all had great fun there, it was in such a picturesque location overlooking Lake Okanagan:
With excellent company:
A bit of ancient mysticism/bollocks:
Free plonk:
And even I was compensated for not being able to try any:
You'd have thought that the fucking pyramid power would've protected the bloody stuff against the evils of airport baggage handlers, but not to worry.
11 comments:
Ouchies! I usually get blisters from new shoes - either on my heels or on the side of my foot by my little toe. I have wide feet (to match the wide body) and shoes rub every-damn-where.
I think April really did try to kill you! White water rafting? Christ! And that winery looks like Utopia. Gorgeous! Except for the pyramid. Sorry, I just can't accept the pyramid.
Pyramid, shmyramid! Apparently, if you were feeling negative, you got a weird vibe and found it difficult to go in there.
Yeah right.
She did try to kill me! I haven't even started on the things she put me through. And those internal flights are total bastards for turbulence over the mountains.
Don't believe a word Sniff said... she was posing for the camera. Lying git.
My daughter will take anyone out if you hang out with her long enough. She's the devil's spawn she is.
Fucking hell - her in the black top looks a dead-ringer for Alison Moyet in the first couple of pics she's in!
Brewed in pyramids? Oh for fucks sake, I've never heard so much shite in all my life.
I suppose they'll be saying it get's you carried away in an alien abduction if you drink enough of it.
Actually, it was matured in the pyramid after being brewed in big metal tanks. It makes all the difference!
Looks like you really had a lovely time. I miss the Northwest. It's the most beautiful place that I've ever seen.
Hi! Found your blog today while surfing the web at work! Glad to hear that the Aboriginals in western Canada continue to implement and pass along old world strategies for taking down elk, or Euro-chicks. Here in central Canadal, they drink cheap booze hidden in paper bags and piss on the side of Government buildings. Some days at work, I'd like to join them. Today was not one of those days, I used the indoor plumbing facilities. Thanks!
I'd love to drink cheap booze from paper bags and piss against government building!
You'd get arrested under the Terrorism Act if you tried that over here. Cunts.
Does pear cider class as cheap booze?
Terrorism Act eh? A few kids got into some real trouble for pissing on the War Memorial downtown on Canada Day and were charged for it...don't know what the actual charge was though.
The country was outraged....pffft whatever. Dumbasses.
oh and....yah, pear cider qualifies as cheap booze. I believe not entirely because of the cost, but rather it places in the category of pussies who can't/won't drink real alcohol. I'm right there with you, I only drink apple cider, Strongbow...I believe your peeps make it! It's some damn fine stuff.
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