Perspective

Cakesniffers is where I go on about how things look from my perspective. That's the idea of blogs I guess. So, with this in mind, let's see what Sniffy thinks of:

1. Lights off in summer - NO! Keep the fucking things on, for fuck's sake. I'm talking office lights here. I can't bear the way people keep turning lights off in offices because they think it makes a difference to the temperature when it's already over 30°C in there. It makes none whatsoever and it means that you get a weird visual effect when you're trying to use a computer: looking at a bright object when the room is dark is one of most migraine-inducing things imaginable. Keep the lights on in the workplace and simmer down, for fuck's sake.
   
2. Berkenstocks - Yes and no. In a moment of desperation last week, I was forced to buy a pair of Berkenstocks. They're OK. For sandals. As a rule, I don't like footware that is worn sockless. I don't like the shuffly-slap noise of flip-flops against sweaty soles. These things go against my principles and they're already annoying me. Surely the insole will be totally manky from my sweaty feet after no time at all? You can't wash them, can you? It's only been a week and they've developed a kind of sticky slurping noise when I walk on them. Don't get me started on proper flip flops (the ones with the bit that goes between your toes) - fucking death traps, that's what they are. It's a relief to get my trainers back on.
   
3. Two foreign holidays in the same year - YES, YES, YES! I might be getting another week out of the country later on in the summer. Bring it on!!!
   
4. Minestrone cup a soup - YES! Fuckin' delish rehydrated goodness. I can't wait till it cools down a bit so I can stop eating bloody salads at lunchtime and get back to my lovely soup in a mug.
   
5. Bogies - NO! The other day, I was asked what makes me heave. I answered: "Vomit, other people's poo smells and other people's bogies. They are fucking disgusting and I am guaranteed to start gagging at the sight of a badly-wiped nose. It's therefore NOT a good idea to pick your nose, pull out a super sticky one, and proceed to play with it while I'm engaged in a webcam conversation with you!
   
6. Tim Horton's "double double" - Yes, apparently, I wouldn't know. Tim Hortons is a coffee shop/cafe chain in Canada and the "double double" refers to 2 creams, 2 sugars - absolutely the best coffee experience ever, so I've been told. On leaving Kelowna, Connie said to me, "Make sure that you get a Tim Horton's double double before you get on your plane home". I thought I'd pick one up in the departure lounge at Vancouver International. No fucking Tim Horton's to be found, only a shitty little Starfuck's and a noodle bar. Well pissed off.
   
7. Hairdressers - NO! Terrified of the bastards. I've taken to letting my sister, Bomb, hack at my hair on a monthly basis because I am so scared of hairdressers saying "leave it to me!" and then turning me in to Elaine fucking Paige. Twats.
   
8. Greater Manchester Police - Cunts. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
   
9. Cows on cliffs - YES. I wasn't referring to cows on Cliff Richards, although this would be an excellent way of "suffocating the wrinkly old twat." However I'm actually referring to news story of the herd of cows that got themselves stranded on a cliff in Cornwall. They had to be tranquilised and airlifted off. Brilliant, just brilliant. This is almost as good as the story about the sheep who learned to roll over cattle grids so they could get into a village and eat people's gardens.
   
10. 24th October 2006 - Oh yes! Third series of the L Word is released on DVD.

Taz and Pig Radio
I've had this on all evening, it's brilliant. Find out more by going to Tazzy and Piggy dot com or link straight to Media Player streaming by clicking here. Clever bastards with too much time on their hands.

I take it all back, they've just lost all of their credibility by playing some utter shite by the Beautiful South.


Weekend events
Here's where I'll be this weekend.

Firstly it's this event on Saturday. If you're in the area, pop along to show your support. There's all sorts going on and it should be top notch... apart from the fact that I have to go in disguise and hide from a certain person's ex for most of the day.

On Sunday, it's the 20th anniversary Huddersfield Pink Picnic. I should really boycott this because of the insistence on stereotyping anything gay by associating it with the most vile fucking colour on the planet, but hey ho. There's a possibility that I'll be meeting up with my two favourite Yorkshire homos, so it should be fun - especially if they come dressed in drag as Nora Batty.