Hot and steamy can describe many things at the moment: my unshowered bum; cup of coffee; and the weather being a few. However, the hot and steamy I'm referring to right now is the activity of ironing.
Off to a wedding at lunchtime so I had to iron a load of stuff. My suit falls into a crumpled mess as soon as I take it off the hanger, but I have to make some sort of effort. I also had blouses and and some new stuff of Trump's to do. Phew, steamy!
New garments come with so much shit attached to them with those horrible little plastic tags. Each new thing has at least two labels on them, plus spare buttons, plus the price labels from the shops. It's all too much. I know you're supposed to be able to pull these things off with ease, but they just cut into my delicate skin like a fucking garrotte. Pisses me right off.
It's YOUR fault
Crime figures for England and Wales are out today. The number of street robberies continues to rise and it's not the criminals that are being blamed, oh no, it's all OUR fault for having MP3 players and mobile phones. This is just another example of the logic that comes out of our shite government over here.
Essentially, the message is: don't bother buying anything nice with the money that's left over after you've been taxed to death because we won't do anything about it if you're mugged or burgled. We might as well give all our cash to charity and dress in sack cloths.
If you're in the process of having your property broken in to, there's no point calling the police to come and investigate because you'll be told that there are no free units in the area. Of course there are no free units in the area: they're all stood on the kerb, being horrible to motorists who they've decided to harrass for the sake of it. God forbid they'd actually do anything to live up to their mission statement: Fighting crime, protecting people. They might have to break into a sweat and go all funny if they were forced to speak to real people and help them out.
Wankers.
8 comments:
Yay... I'm first.
Hot and steamy describes my toots after eating pounds of blueberries. Mmmmmm.
It must be love. I wouldn't iron for anyone.
The WCM always said if he wanted to hide any money, he'd put it under the iron. I'd never find it. I don't buy clothes that I'll have to iron.
That's insane, blaming the general populace for having good stuff to steal! I don't know how many homes in the UK have security systems, but here in the paranoid US, almost all new homes are built with them. If you don't have one and you get robbed, then you're treated to the attitude that you deserved it because you didn't spend the 5K to better protect your stuff.
Right at the start of this post, the thought of your unwashed arse put me right off my bowl of rice-crispies.
I shouldn't have been surprised really though.
The problem with street robberies is an odd one. I think it's all the fault of those 'Oh look at me, I've got an iPod and the latest/flashiest mobile phone which I'll just yak, yak fucking yak all day on and annoy everyone with my banal conversation about nothing in particular so long as I can keep showing it off' wankers.
I think they're not being 'robbed', they're being 'relieved' of those items.
Crusaders acting on behalf of the rest of us.
I suppose that's a fair point piggy. Rob them of their iPods and make a big bonfire out of the lot of them. (The iPods, not their owners.... then again...)
Personally, if I were going to rob someone and make a bonfire of the booty, it would be the Bluetooth headsets that make people look like they're talking to themselves. They're obnoxious.
just sayin'
I agree - bluetooth headsets just make them look like twats.
Which they are anyway (fave word) for wearing them in the first place.
What the fucks wrong with holding the phone to their ears? Lazy cunts.
The only people who should be allowed bluetooth headsets are people with no arms.
Just imagine.....given the decline in the quality of healthcare as of late, a trip to the hospital may relust in the same treatment.
"Of course you're sick, what do you expect with all that inhaling and exhaling. And now you expect us to sort you out? Typical."
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