A big scan, you note. Not just a scan, but a BIG, MASSIVE, HUGE, FUCK-OFF, ENORMOUS scan!
This is headline news from the BBC today. They have reporters stationed outside the hospital where the scan will be conducted this morning. It's not a very big hospital; it's a small private hospital in South Manchester.
It seems that the BBC is now employing reporters to deliver primary school news to us. What sort of reporting is that? "Wayne Rooney is having a big scan on his poorly lickle tootsy to see if he can play with his friends in the massive game of footie on Saturday". For fuck's sake.
It's nice to note that Wayne, a clever lad, is "300% sure" of playing in the tournament. Three hundred percent eh? Brilliant. That means that we'll have three Waynes playing will we? Three players sent off for petulance? Fucking hell.
Come on ENGERLAND!
England seems to be going football mad at the moment. There are flags of St George hanging from just about every window on council estates across the land. One innovation that crept in with the last world cup (sorry, this is "soccer" I'm talking about) was the appearance of England "car flags". These annoying things attach to the car via a hook which holds the flag in place in the car's closed window, thusly:
Every Tit in the country seems to be displaying these things. I feel that my annual war on caravaners may have to be postponed until after England get knocked out of the World Cup and people stop adorning their cars with this shite. I'm very tempted to buy a load of German flags and replace all the English equivalents on parked cars in the dead of night.
The thing is, I love the footie, I love the World Cup and I would love England to do well, but all this rubbish just makes me hate my national team and I end up rooting for Italy instead. Let's face it though, the Italians are better looking and their kit is nicer.
Make them shut up
Please make the people here shut up! They had the cheek to force the move of one staff member to another office because "He causes a disturbance and is always on the computer", but since they all got here this morning, I've head nothing but one VERY loud voice going on, and on, and on. Today's outrages are:
- Being done for speeding by a mobile camera unit: "So I took photos of the area and I told the police 'It doesn't say that it's a 30mph area ANYWHERE!'" Well, I'm sorry, but everyone knows that when it doesn't specify a speed limit, the limit is 30mph, so shut the fuck up and pay the fine.
- Agenda for change - yet again! This has been an ongoing issue for at least the past 12 months.
- Woman in charge of the same department at the other base - AGAIN.
Bigger
The cumulative cost of tyre replacements now runs at £170 this month (actually, it's £170 in 8 days). Another one got fucked after I drove over a nail. Pissed off.
Smaller
I went to the theatre last night. Me! At the theatre!!!! It was a play called Smaller and it was excellent. Only three characters so I didn't get confused, lots of comedy and not too much acting, just good performances.
Trump took me as a "You've been through a horrible, stressful experience and you deserve a treat" thing after I had a job interview yesterday. That might not be the reason why she bought the tickets, but she's ever so nice to me.
And yes, job interview - I was doing preparation for it and so was too busy to blog. I'm not going away, just not able to vent my spleen as often as I had done in the past.
So there you go.
15 comments:
Thank you.
I've decided to support Germany, as they've never won the World Cup. (I know West Germany has)
Yeah, it's time such a big footballing nation won it. It must be embarrassing for them. And we've already won it once so we shouldn't be greedy.
What's the job?
Something at the university, but it doesn't look like I've got it. All that effort for nothing again.
ah well, at least you can vent your spleen over stupid interview questions and interviewers
--aas
There's that ace email going round which is a pretend DVLA one saying that they've decided to highlight bad drivers with a new flag system attached to their cars - and if they are a very bad driver they'll have two.
Cunts.
I loathe football but loathe the fucking flag waving even more. Every time I get on the bike I want to snap their flags off as I race past them. Maybe I should begin a campaign?
I too hate football.
They are all wankers; the players and most of the fans.
They should be publically flogged in.. let's say.. erm.. maybe somewhere big, like a football stadium?
And people should throw cans at them and punch each toher a lot.
Sounds familiar..
I actually like football - it is the most entertaining spectator sport. Tournaments like the World Cup are fantastic and there's something truly wonderful about seeing how the game is spreading across the continents.
However, I can't be doing with all this flag waving crap - it really makes me hate England. Any cyclist has a duty to their bit to get it stopped. "Accidentally" poke your eye out on a passing car flag and sue the driver. High-court action will then ensue and the things will be banned by the time the next tournament comes around.
Thank fuck Wayne's big scan gave us all encouragement!
I'm sick to the fucking back teeth of all those stupid flags.
And the fact that every shop in the land is flogging us shite that has nothing to do with football, but is still adorned with England fucking flags anyway.
Rampant fucking commercialism at its height.
I've been a victim of the tyre bill too after some cunt placed a nail under one of them. How the fuck can they be so expensive? It's only a bit of rubber, for fucks sake.
Like Garfy, I want to know what the job is too. Pleased to hear that you probably haven't got it though. You need to suffer another couple of years where you are at the mo.
And ugly cunt Rooney... Why the big hoo-ha? I really don't understand it at all. I noticed the 300% thing too. Stupid cunts.
Oh and Hello! Glad to see you posted again!
Sorry to hear the job interview didn't pan out. But not sorry to hear that Trump's treating you right. Nice to see you happy.
Soccer? What's that? (/sarcasm)
I have a Turkish student who's been outspoken about the World Cup, but everyone else here in the big ol' US of A is blithely ignoring the rest of the world (unless, of course, you happen to be an oil-producing country in the middle east...) and their quaint sports customs.
We had a bumper crop of those car flags spring up right after 9/11. If you didn't have one, you might as well have sided with bin Laden. Glad to see you're similarly afflicted. Misery loves company and all that.
http://blog-convict.blogspot.com/2006/05/attention.html
That's the link Herge was referring to.
Shit... that was Quit. So what, I can't spell.
You Brits are starting to look like Yanks driving around with those fucktard flags flying from your cars. I thought you had more class. Sadly mistaken.
Ohhh, the job. I forgot. How'd it go?
Quite getting flat tires you moron, you're wasting all your Canada cash.
Interview went OK, but I haven't heard anything so I doubt very much that I've got it.
Flat tyres are a pain in the shitter. £170! That could've bought me an entire Canadian province.
Be careful with the use of "Brits" here April, you need to note that it's only the English that have these flags. Then again, it's only England that's got a decent footie team.
Twatting flags! They also cause drag which increases fuel consumption which causes more harmful emissions etc etc... Grrrrr. I hate them!
Anyway, I hope that when you do hear about the interview, it's good news.
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