More and more, it seems that people are relying on technology instead of wit to get them from A to B. There appears to be a boom in the sales of in-car satellite navigation systems as folk toss away their road atlases and A to Zs in favour of electronic directions. Personally, I don't see much wrong with using a road atlas and taking a look at where you are, looking at where you want to be and then making a note of the roads that join the two. Online routeplanners do pretty much the same thing for you.
But I suppose you can see the advantages of sat nav (especially if you're stupid); it must be nice having an electronic voice telling you where to turn and the like. I might jump on the bandwagon and introduce....
Sniffynav
"Go straight ahead for a bit; oooh watch out for that car; turn left at the roundabout - indicate you fucking dick-brained tosser! Jezusss, what is it with this fucking morons? Where were we? Oh, you missed the turn! Can't you read a road sign, dickhead? People like you shouldn't be allowed to drive. Shitforbrains."
Of course, satellite navigation doesn't always help. I was following some shit car earlier and as I came alongside it at the traffic lights, I noticed that it had some sort of Tom Tom go thing on the dashboard. I instantly scoffed at the thought of wanting to drive a car like that anywhere since I'd be embarrassed to take it out of the garage. When the lights turned to green, we set off. Checking my rear view mirror, I noticed the super-guided vehicle swerve across a couple of lanes at the last minute. Tosser. Just because you've got a frigging toy telling you where to go, it doesn't mean that can't take your eyes off the road.
My journey to work yesterday was delayed because of an accident on the motorway. I don't understand how this can happen when everybody is driving in the same direction. I suppose there's quite a speed variable, but fucking hell, if you can't keep your eyes open and leave a decent gap, then you shouldn't be driving. I bet the crash was caused by somebody being told to swerve across 3 lanes of the motorway by their Sat Nav.
Hot cross bun day
Today is the wonderful Christian celebration of Hot Cross Bun Day. This is where we celebrate nearing the end of Lent by getting our stomachs used to food again in readiness for Easter Egg Day on Sunday.
Talking of eating. There's something a bit odd about crunchin on cup-a-soup croutons when you're listening to music through earphones. Like little explosions in your head.
Weirdo freak man
He's there again. I'm starting to get paranoid.
23 comments:
If I had to rely on my wit, I'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble. :)
Oh hello! Nice to see you post twice in a row these days, now that your got some sloppy toy to play with.
We've had 3 different sat nav devices - two of them were complete shit and one excellent (the excellent one is the Tom Tom One, which is cheaper but beat the Tom Tom 300, 500 & 700 hands down due to it's newer electronics and a much better satellite lock-on thingumyjig).
And we can customise the directions with our own or other voices. So far, we've had Ozzy Osbourne, the Queen, John Cleese and a few others.
So this is an admission that you're spazzes who can't read a map between you? Shame on you.
Fucking girls, that's what you are!
As we're leaving on vacation tomorrow, the WCM has compiled a special vacation binder filled with individual maps to and from all the places that we'll be. He's quite obsessive about his maps.
We've never had Sat Nav, as we're too cheap to spend for it. Also, we know how to read maps.
I might go for Sniffy Nav, though, as it's more entertaining.
Oh I would love to have the sniffy nav. I'd be laughing so much I'd get lost all the time.
Actually, I never get lost and do read maps quite well so I don't need it but it would entertaining to have you on board with me!
Have you heard the lady on the Sat Nav? She can actually get pretty irritated. My mom has it, and I was driving her car and missed a turn (there were two possible rights, please don't take my license away), and she huffily said, "Reconfiguring....take the NEXT right."
Bitch.
I wonder if my sister, Bomb, has been doing a bit of moonlighting as a Sat Nav voice-over? Then again, she can barely find her way out of bed, so she'd be bloody hopeless at that.
Not an admission of inability to read maps, no.
More an admission that we're gadget freaks.
We never go anywhere, for fucks sake! It's a toy!
I have a Sat Nav and its pure shite, in its purest of purest form.
Probably due to the fact that its only for use when driving in England.
Give me a map anyday,preferably one thats upside down.
Tina why am I getting those annoying wee pop ups re Active x plugins??
What have you done?
Park a car where he normally lurks. That'll fuck him up.
Re: Maps. If I don't know where the location is, I print one out from Yahoo! maps. Otherwise, I generally know where I'm going and don't need anything to help.
Re: Yes, what Fuckkit said! That would be SO perfect! Screw up the weirdo's routine. Better yet, get some chalk and write on the tarmac - "Will you go away, you fucking wierdo". That would be cool
WE traveled 6,000 miles across country with a road atlas and only got lost for 20 minutes. Not too bad I'd say...
I'd be tempted to knock on that guys window and ask him, "What the fuck's up?"
The boy was checking to see if you are alive and was relieved to find you well.
Sniffynav sounds amazing! But I think it would be better if it was connected to loudspeakers on the outside of your vehicle and directed at the cars around you. Wankers.
I like Shifty's idea of writing something on the road where Mr Freak parks.
Do it. Do it. Do it!
Why not get all your mates to sit in cars wearing false beards?
I'll join in...
That'll mean Sniffy has to shave, which will take the fun out of it.
Or will it stick on top of her own? It'll be a bastard to remove, I bet.
Anyway (fave word), where is the minge muncher? She's slacking.
She's out shagging. Again.
I blame the Spring.
I have no sense of direction, but I hate being told what to do.
There's no hope for me.
Mark the area off with police tape, chalk the outline of a body on the floor, add some red paint and tyre tracks and put up a "Have You Seen This Man" poster featuring a beardy photofit.
Then there's this gadget.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/8212/
Where are you?
I feel bad for you and the strangeoid hanging about you, I know how it is to have these types lurking about...they seem to love me. Oi!
Anyway, my reason reason to comment was to let u know I'd buy your SniffyNav! then, my husband would get off MY case for sounding like that, and instead he could yell at the equipment in the car. LOL
I feel bad for you and the strangeoid hanging about you, I know how it is to have these types lurking about...they seem to love me. Oi!
Anyway, my reason reason to comment was to let u know I'd buy your SniffyNav! then, my husband would get off MY case for sounding like that, and instead he could yell at the equipment in the car. LOL
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