Tis REALLY pissing me off! Here I am, trying to drive somebody special around and trying to look at least a little bit cool and there you are, kangarooing the car and revving it like a bastard.
Driving in queueing traffic is ever such a lot of fun too.
MUST GET IT SORTED
Easter egg day
Easter egg day was nice.
- Easter egg count = 4
- Arguments with family members = 0
- Weird men in Ford Mondeos = 0
- Fuckin' delish lasagne = 1
- Italian Easter cake = 2 portions
- Outlaws introduced to = 4 (plus dog)
- Time spent with lovely Jo = not nearly enough
Tell you what, people out shopping are right nobheads. They just wander around, really slowly in front of you while you're trying to get passed (past) them, then when you make your move to overtake, they switch directions and block your path. It's like they have an inner eye that knows the exact moment when you're about to try to pass them and the move out to stop you. I think they are really alien species, and their commanders are the ones who push prams. Their mission is to floor people by just stopping without warning, or to separate couples with a clever turn and stop. They work in pairs in a pincer action to make it impossible to back track, go round them and catch up with the person you're walking with.
Tossers.
Where's my cattle prod?
This is good...
23 comments:
B of the bastard.
Your photo's better.
I get that accelerator cable seen to.
You don't want to overtake on the motorway and find that the pedals jammed to the floor.
This happened to a guy in a BMW (poetic justice) recently. He had to weave in and out of the traffic doing 130mph.
I think that is SO funny, you trying to be impressive while driving jerking about like your head's on a loose spring. Poor Jo. I'm assuming that's the lovely person you're driving about. Surely she understands.
Yeah, I laugh at it all the time. It sticks right at the bite point. The cable is a bit slack and needs tightening up. Jo is very impressed with my colourful language.
Who you driving about anyway? Miss Daisy?
Admit it, you've got tiny gammy feet and you can't reach the pedals. Cable 'issues' indeed.
Offer one of your work-mates a lift into town during your lunch break, wait until they're re-applying lippy or some-such thing, then change gear - you'll have the perfect execuse.
Oh and ask them to hold a nearly-full jug of water too.
So what is that spikey thing, looks like the alien from Threshold?
Yes, what is it?
I offer sympathy for the car trouble, but really, I am impressed by anyone who can drive stick control motors. I use the 'press the button and go' method and yus, I know, it isn't really driving. Viva America.
Wow! That is good. What and where is it?
'Hi' to Jo : )
Thank you Trump, you're too kind. Tiny feet maybe - and hands to go with them - but we have to make the most of what we're given and I struggle by.
Spiky thing is a big sculpture called "B of the bang". It is situated outside the City of Manchester stadium, where the 2002 Commonwealth Games took place (no home to Manchester City Football Club). The sculputre is so named in honour of British Olympic sprinter Linford Christie, who used to say that he set off from the blocks on the "b of the bang".
Oh! You remembered us then? Your adoring readership.
And there we were, thinking you'd become an April kind of part-time blogger now that you've got some fluff to play with.
We're still waiting for you to describe it in detail - The taste, texture, aroma and what have you.
Sorry Piggy, you're right. I should forsake all ideas of happiness so i can maintain my miserable persona and generate random attacks here in my blog.
What exactly do you want to know about?
Hate the shoppers who need to take up the whole aisle while they idly wander from side to side.
Silly Sniffy. Get the car into the shop as soon as possible.
Yeeeouch!!! That cattle prod would be particularly pokey!
get your car fixed ye daft bint!!! I don't want to hear about my favorite cakesniffer slammed into a wall or another vehicle due to kangaroo issues.
Yes, you are getting soft but it looks charming. We like to see our friends staggering around with cupid's arrow stuck out of their chests!
Make a porno vid with you and your bit of fluff, then post it here for us all to see!
Go on, be brave!
Think of it as your pubic, sorry 'public' declaration of love!
You're sure to please some of the boys and girls!
And we'll make a fortune selling it!
We'll even split the profits with you. Then you can afford to get the car fixed!
I don't think a video of me shagging would make anybody any money. It might get a few laughs in the "Carry on" category though.
Me neither. I think you'd get more takers for Countdown the movie.
Cheeses, thanks Trump!
its "past"
You sound happy. This is good. As for any hiatus in blogging, take a leaf from emerald bile's book regarding their readers "we don't give a shiny shite what you fuckers think and we are surprised you don't know that by now."
ya know, the best piece of advice my daddy ever offered me when I had my babies was: teach your kids to kick in crowds! LOL Think about it, for those buggers who walk 20 abreast across the mall, amusement park or other place where people gaggle about in groups. They won't blame you and they'll often times think what a cute kid they are, you pretend like you don't know what your innocent is up to.
A friend who recently passed her driving test managed to do something similar while I was holding her drink of coke from Subway (with no lid).
Between her bouncing like tigger on speed and the several roundabouts, there wasn't much left by the return to school.
She really had no excuse. I had to sit all sopping and cokey for 3 periods of history.
guess you can't do something simple like grease the cable? probly not. probly some bazillion dollar computer chip or microsoft based program which has inherent bugs. fucking bill gates.
as for those aisle hogging shoppers, what about the imbeciles with those short motorized chairs? those twats need speed limits and flashing lights and tall antenae with flags. anything to let normal walkers know they're around. fuckers need driving lessons at least.
wait. that's me sitting my broad ass in that zoomin' chair.
nevermind. and move the fuck over.
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