My guts have been rotten today. I'm having flashbacks to my Muller Vitality probiotic yoghurt addiction; a time when I felt constantly bloated, with my colon on the verge of exploding. My, those are tasty yoghurts and I love 'em.... but they don't like me!
In fact, with the adverse effect those probiotic things had on me, it makes you wonder how the lying bastard advertising agencies have the gall to claim that they "make you feel healthy inside". I'm sorry, but if you put a load of live bugs into your digestive system - one that's already populated with plenty of its own - you're bound to get some sort of fermentation thing going on. We all know that fermentation produced lots of gas and heat and when that's mixed with the contents of your bowels, you get: EGGY PLAPPERS.
...and horrendous guts ache
...and bloatedness
Lying bastards. "Oh dear, Marjorie, you're looking a little out of sorts today, whatever is wrong?"
"Well, Jean, I'm suffering from abdominal bloating - look!"
"Oh dear, yes you are. And here's me thinking you were just a fat fucking crank! But have you tried these bug drinks and yoghurts?"
"No. Do they work?"
"Yes, they work wonders if you want to constantly feel like you're about to shit your pants and you can't move for fear of doing huge farts!"
18 comments:
So how did you manage to get them to bloat up your arse then?
Yay! First, etc...
Bloody pop ups on your site, blah, blah, blah.
I hate their little adverts that say at the end "Hmmm DANONE"
We say "Hmmm Its shit"
Now THAT would be truth in advertising!
Do tell, EGGY PLAPPERS? WTF?
Alternatively get Firefox!!
Where did this relationship come from?
Did I miss a couple of chapters?
Opera (www.opera.com) also blocks the pop-ups very efficiently.
I can't be arsed to post today, so I'm just going to annoy the fuck out of everyone in their comments.
I know - as per usual - before anyone says it.
Probiotic my arse.
And that's all I have to say on that subject (apart from, have a kebab).
Wow, Cock-Sucking-Galleries saw fit to post links to penis related porn on the blog of a carpet muncher.
After all, all we really need is a big hairy cock to cure us.
*throws up in bin for second time today*
We've saved your first lot over at our place - Yay! we were first!
*clicks link to 'cock sucking galleries'*
*signs up with fuckkit's email address*
*and sniffys*
*and fishwifes*
*and SID's twice*
I'm only new with this name (btw, some cocksucker stole my other blog).
Hello!
Will you be blogging today then, Sniffmeister?
Or should we carry on checking every fucking half an hour to see if you've finished your kebab and chips yet?
Why didn't they just tell us they taste good, like you did. I might have tried one. All that bugs and bloated health bollocks just turned me off.
How could you leave us like this??
Downloaded zone attack as suggested.
Still pop ups.
Jean and Marjorie are brilliant! Let's have them back at some point.
* tries not to accidently click on Cock Sucking Galleries *
Ok, I know why your site kept crashing my browser and its all thanks to Microsoft and their lovely IE6 security update.
They did something with Active X controls which meant that those two media (Quicktime) player things at the bottom freaked it out and it crashed. You can get a fix for it HERE and yes, I know I should stop being a Microsoft whore and switch broswers but I don't like Firefox.
Anyway, still cant play them tunes and I've set WMP as my defult player and everything. Pah.
Yes, yes, sorry about the poo and all, but there is something more important here:
Apparently blogger's RSS feed is not working and I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU'D UPDATED.
I realize it is not your fault in the slightest, but feel the need to shout mean things at someone.
yay, that's me whenever I eat ANY milk product.
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