Eye, eye!

Stereo vision is really good. You kind of get used to having two eyes from quite an early age. As a child, you do that thing where you open each of your eyes individually so as you can see the difference between the two fields of vision. You remark at the "Oooooh, intit weird, that?" feeling.

Anyway, I can't see properly out of my right eye this morning. This is because a) I need new glasses, b) I'm too tired and it doesn't want to focus yet , or c) a combination of the two.

New specs next month methinks. Watch this space.


Out
I was out with some lesbians last night. They were all telling me how it's so obvious that I'm gay. That's nice of them, it's a bit like saying that it's really obvious that I have curly hair, small feet and blue (red) eyes. There are plenty of things that I could point out to people, but I don't because it would be impolite. I mean, I could quite easily say things like: "I knew within ten seconds of meeting you that you're a total cunt", but it's not the done thing.


Animals in the road
On the journey here this morning, the motorway warning signs were telling us to slow down to 40mph because of animals in the road. All the motorists did too. I didn't get to see which animals were in the road, or whether there were any that were soaking into the tarmac because I left the motorway before reaching the hazard, however, it occurred to me how compliant the motorists were. I'm not sure whether this was through shared concern about the welfare of the animals in question, or through fear of vehicle damaging through collision with a sheep, but I wondered whether the motorists' willingness to slow down was dependent on the hazard? For example:

• "Slow down, FOG" - nobody slows down because fog doesn't hurt if you hit it
• "Slow down, SPRAY" - go faster so you can get through the poor visibility and maybe even get your car washed
• "Slow down, ACCIDENT" - go faster to get to the scene and have a nosy before they clear up the carnage
• "Slow down, QUEUE" - go faster because you're going to get held up when you reach the queue anyway
  

Fucking hell, it's started
Just heard Posh Scouse having a chat with Mental Scouse about something that always rears its ugly head at this time of year - the ambient temperature reaching levels above 10°C. Posh Scouse has traumas about it being way too hot as soon as we approach May every bloody year. It starts as soon as she gets into the office in the morning and she lets her colleagues know about the which windows have been opened and other measures that have been taken in order to keep the air circulating in the stifling heat.

It's freezing, for fuck's sake!

She's wearing flip-flops. FLIP-FLOPS! Jesus fucking Christ all fucking MIGHTY, get a grip!!!!

Another colleague has just rolled up with her sunglasses propped on top of her head. They'll stay there all day while she's sat at her desk. Why don't they wear their sunglasses in winter when the sun is low in the sky? Is it part of the summer uniform, or a simply a fashion faux pas for the winter months?

Tossers.

I can't do that with my sunglasses. My head is too big for a start, but they also get caught up in my hair. I think I'm still hosting the remnants of a pair that got lost in there a couple of years ago.