Ain't no sunshine...

The clouds are rolling in and we're heading for a grey and wet (not in a nice way) bank holiday. Bah. Despite the temperature struggling to get into the mid-teens, there are some truly horrendous sites on the streets and concrete shopping precincts of northern England. People in vests and with their legs and toes showing. Jesus.

I have been deserted! So, in spite of the weather, I'm taking advantage of the long weekend and I'm off to Norfolkland later to see if I can contract bird flu from that chicken farm. I'll let you know how I get on.

Do wood pigeons get bird flu? I fucking hope so. Stupid bloody creatures. They can't even walk without having to move their heads.

Oh, the sun's come out again, I must undress to a indecent state and prop my sunglasses on top of my head! QUICK!!! Open all the windows, it's too hot!

Aresholes. Should move them to somewhere properly hot (like Delhi).


Torture
I might see if I can make a recording of a particular person to post on here. How do I make this thing work? Hrrm, it's a pity she's concentrating and is engaged in conversation with only herself, rather than the rest of the people in the 1km radius of the building. She's "tiddly-pomping" though - perhaps she's been to choir practice recently and is having flashbacks. Plaid A-line skirt (above the knee!), short-sleeved white blouse, pink tank top, glasses (those ones that make your eyes look HUGE) on a string around her neck.

Their PC died last week. It's not a great problem because everything is stored on the server and you just get a replacement PC, log on, and all is fine with the world. Theirs was replaced with an exact same model, but she is constantly telling people who phone up that "I'll get it off his 'electronic', but we're using a spare computer and it's very slow". G-O-D!!!!! By "his electronic" she's referring to her boss's Outlook diary, as opposed to the paper diary, which she also insists on keeping just so as she can confuse people. "Hello, yes! Hiya - heh heh heh - yessssssss... I was just wondering whether, you see this is where it all gets rather confusing, whether you could check Mr Whatsisname's electronic over at your end to see if it's the same as the electronic at our end because it's different in the paper diary. OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!! So his electronic is the same wherever you look at it??? Well, yes, yes, that's right, that's what I thought, well you see - PARADOXICALLY, it's all rather worked out for the better then".

I've just enlightened her with "ctrl c" and "ctrl v" because she "can't find the copy and paste buttons on this stupid computer". And now somebody else has made her day with the concept of right clicking. Jesus, I can't believe that people are allowed anywhere near computers without basic training.

Fuck me.


Blog award
You know, some woman has won some blog award for being homeless and writing from inside her car. Well, perhaps if we all had that amount of free time and peace and quiet, we too might be able to write something worthy of a fucking award!


Subway
Does anybody know what shite goes into a Subway sandwich? I can't believe they have the cheek to advertise themselves as fresh: shoving a load of highly processed shite into bread in front of a customer does not constitute fresh. And that stench that they pump on onto the streets should have them being taking to task by the environmental health. Dis-fuckin-gusting!


Hometime
Is it hometime yet?