I'm a kind of standard, no-nonsense type and just fill up once a week on unleaded. I filled up last Friday at the local Shell and, as I entered the shop to pay, a woman customer who was in the queue turned to me, smiled and said "Excuse me..."
Oh God, what've I done? Have I been mouthing off at other drivers again and I've finally met one who's going to challenge me? "Yes?" I smiled, sweetly.
"I noticed you put Shell Optimax in your car, was there any reason for that?"
Did I? Fuck! That's so much more expensive than unleaded. What an idiot.
"Oh, no particular reason," I responded, lying, "I just like to use it one tank in every four."
"Does it increase fuel efficiency?"
How the fuck do I know? It was a mistake! "Errm, it may do. My car just likes it, it seems to run more smoothly on it. Give it a go and see what you think."
"Oh right, thanks. I might give it a go sometime."
Anyway, I must recommend Shell Optimax; my car certainly is very happy at the moment. At 6p/L more, it better fucking had be bappy on it.
Coffee-flavoured Pepsi Max
You know how Pepsi Max is one of my favourite, if not my absolute favourite soft drink? Well, I thought I'd try something new the other week. I had a go of Pepsi Max cino, which is supposed to be a coffee-flavoured cola drink.
It
is
absolutely
fucking
disgusting
Trash
Ok, some of you wanted to see some photos of the new jacket. For fuck's sake, am I your performing poodle all of a sudden? I suppose I must be. Here goes then:
A victory for sanity
Thank goodness for the House of Lords; they've thrown out the Government's plans to make people who want a passport require an ID card from 2008.
Ha
Ha
Ha!
20 comments:
First!
Love the jacket.
Sashay. Sashay. And strut. Sashay!
Who's a supermodel then?
Are Shell going to pay you for endorsing their product? You could make a fortune!
Pepsi cino? What did you expect?
Blech!
I thank you.
I've realised that I can't look normal in photos so I always have to act the fool and that makes it alright when I look an idiot on the photo.
I wish Shell would endorse me. They get about £160 a month out of me.
Yes, Pepsi Cino - I think I was drawn in by the black labelling.
Glad its not a donkey jacket Sniffy.
I didnt want to admit it at first, but I have just seen your twin sis in an old photo I have.
Its Mrs SID. Think its the hair.
I'd never have been able to wear a donkey jacket without getting sexual advances from April - you know what she's like.
Your wife looks like my sister? Oh, i mean, you wife looks like me? The poor woman.
quite fetching miss.
But I thought you were hoping for sexual advances from April?
Shell petrol. We like that too, although we generally end up at Morrisons.
It's well known that Asda and Safeway (yes, some of them still do exist as petrol stations) keep the prices of their petrol down by using some inferior quality detergent additive. Best avoided.
As for those pics - get your hair cut, for fucks sake. It's like looking at a Gollywog thats been through the washing machine too many times.
Anyway (fave word), slightly surprised to note that the jacket actually looks okay on you. Okay, more than slightly.
I can tell from the pic on the bottom right that you've got one of those necks that's gonna look awful when you're 60. Like the neck of a turkey. How awful.
Is that nit's I can see on that pillow?
Whilst the Lords thing is a victory for the common people *raises right fist in solidarity salute* lets face it, did they really know what they were voting for?
Half of them are bloody senile at best!
I don't care what my neck might look like when I'm sixty because I may well die next Monday anyway. Anyway, if I do reach sixty, I can always wear a scarf or blacken out my neck and the underside of my chin like Boy George does.
It says a lot for what Blair has done to teh state of politics in the UK when we're thankful for a bunch of old folk in the Lords to save us from Labour's disasterous and insane policies. Let's face it, I trust the Lords far more than I do anything that comes out of the commons at the moment and I think a lot of people in the country feel the same. That is a terrible state for us to be in less than a year into a new parliament. Should've got rid of the fucking twats last year. Should never have had the bastard slimy cunts in the first place.
not only would you 'pull' in that jacket, you would positively 'haul'.
Who the hell are we going to vote for next time? I'm tempted, although I never thought I would ever say this, to vote BNP! I hope to got the evil bastards don't get in. I just hope they get enough votes to send the message to the other parties, that we won't tollerate fundimentalists.
Nice jacket Sniff. Looking good.
As for the Pepsi Cino or whatever the frig you called it... what the hell do you expect you dumb ass twat?
I think the curls are smashing. Don't listen to those fellows.
Great photo's. You'r looking good. Jackets nice but you are photogenic,
Yes, she's a regular cover girl for 'Circus Operators Monthly'
I prefer her in her 'signature' photo, but obviously that was taken 35 years ago.
Love the photos.
What was the diagnosis - trapped wind?
Great jacket - and love your expression in the first photo. Pardon my saying, but it's Jodi Foster-esque, were she to be a curly-mopped redhead.
Coffee-flavored cola? Blech. Coke is doing some odd things over here, like Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke. It just confuses my tastebuds. I'm never really sure which flavor I'm tasting.
I haven't stopped by in a week or two - love the new template!
If that jacket had some tassles you could make it as a Country & Western chanteuse in't north of England. I believe the lezza community in those parts are rather partial to that kind of thing.
Morrison's petrol is fine. Shame about their always broken down carwash. Made by a bloke called (Otto) Christ. You would have thought a bloke with a name like that would get it right.
Look at that beautiful girl! And does she have some attitude!!! Work it, work it!
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