Blog Movie, Scene 2: James and the cold gun

ALICE
So, I celebrate my 365th entry today. One-year blogging and what have I achieved? Finally got the official nod that me and Darren are no longer a functioning family unit. Could have told them that years ago. Lizzie is no longer my sweet little girl, but a petulant foul mouthed little madam, although her schoolwork is good. As for Dan, the less said about him the better.

One year on and what have I achieved?

(We pull away from the Earth with incredibly speed, the darkness of space being taken up by huge letters, quickly forming the desk top of a generic blogging tool. The Earth is now in the top right hand corner, spinning round to inform the user they are on line. We can see all that Alice has just said as typed prose. The arrow hovers over the publish icon.

And then more words are added, Alice reading as she types).

In fact, why did I start this blog lark in the first place?

(The arrow hovers back to the publish icon and becomes a little hand which punches down on the icon sending Alice's thoughts out for the World to read).


2. James and cold gun
It is early-morning across the Atlantic and the camera pans across a city scape of tower blocks as the sun rises behind them. The lights flicker on in one window of an office block and the camera zooms in to show James putting his takeaway coffee onto his desk and then hand his coat and bag on the stand in the corner of the room. He turns on his computer, logs on. While his e-mails load, he starts his internet browser... the cursor flashes in the Google search bar, "Inbox" mimics this in glorious orange from the task bar.

"Fuck that. Just more crap that can wait for later". James concentrates on the web and navigates to his Yahoo mail account and checks his feeds for updates.

Sixteen new comments from Blogger this or that at [Cold gun]. He opens them in sequence:

Hey James, are you winding us up with this stuff or what? If any of this is true, you're a sick asshole... but I like you. I wish I had the guts to to that to my fucktard neighbors.

Yeah, I agree, shitheads.

...

...

Hey, great blog, I'm definitely going to bookmark you! You raise some really interesting points and you might want to come and read my blog on Dog hair extensions. It pretty much covers dog hair extensions and related stuff.

"Fucking spam cunts", he sighs and checks out the new post from Alice in England.

We see the reflection of James's PC in his spectacles, the pages scroll as he reads and talks to himself:

"Heh, heh, good old Alice. Yeah, come on Alice what have you achieved? Same old crap every day for a year, tell us what's really going on. You haven't achieved anything because you really don't want to. You're happy to whine on about your crap life, but you're never going to do anything to change it. You wanna change it? Perhaps James can help you".

The system clock shows 7.28. James moves the pointer to "E-mail me". Right click, "copy link location", paste into a new Yahoo message window. James starts to type.

Dear Alice,

I read your blog most days and I am fascinated by your everyday life. I just thought it would be nice to e-mail you rather than leave a lengthy comment on your blog. I hope you don't mind.

I had been in my last relationship for a number of years before realizing in a moment of clarity that it was all over and I wanted out, so I fully sympathize with how you're feeling right now. It is very difficult to take that big step and move out, but you'll be grateful when you do. Find strength in God and use the help of your friends and you'll be OK.

If you'd like to get in touch, please do, but I'll understand if you think it's weird and don't want to.

Take care,

J

The cursor moves to the Send button. Click.

7.39 He types into the address bar of the browser http://coldgun.blogspot.com*, the page changes to one displaying a page entitled "You got a friend" above a photo of a burning house: fire appliances and ambulances are in attendance, a crowd of onlookers huddle together.

"Heh, heh. Dumb fuckers never do believe me".



Hrrrrm, next up in this little venture, I challenge.... Michelle. Will she manage to cheer things up a little bit??? We shall have to wait and see.

*Disclaimer: Any similarities to any persons living or dead or their blogs is purely coincidental and I didn't mean it or anything. Jesus, it's only a bloody story, for fuck's sake. Nobody's even going to read this because it doesn't involve a cat in a box or a photo of my injured breast and photo of me in a comedy pose.